thank you m’am

I think I can confidently say I have no unwelcome bugs on my head.

Ahem.  After getting the kids to bed, I make the hubs wash his hair with the shampoo and I comb it out when  he’s done.  Nothing, he’s clean and toddles off downstairs to melt after the stress-filled day.  I start checking my head in the mirror, and finally give it up as a lost cause.  Now I shed a lot.  There is always a ton of hair in my brush, on my jacket, everywhere.  So I run my hand through my hair to pull out some loose ones, and lo and behold, on the handful I pull out is a louse.  Crawling.  Ew.  Since the hubs had expressed a desire for a live bug to take to work and look at under the microscope, I put it in a tupperware and make him come up to check me closer.  Did I mention he can’t see close up?  And that my hair is about half grey, even though I’m not quite 40?  Oh, and lice eggs/nits are white?  You see where I’m going with this.  So he can’t find anything, I do the shampoo thing and try combing my hair out with the little comb thing.  My hair is not that short and I kept getting it knotted when I ran the comb through it.  Eventually I make him try again, and again, he doesn’t see anything.  Now when I did my daughter’s I could see the dead bugs and nits floating in the water I used to rinse the comb.  I didn’t see anything in this water, so I’m beginning to think the one I found got on me when I was checking her.  Hope springs eternal and all that.

The next day, The Girl stays home with me, The Boy gets a once over, and gets sent off to school.  The Girl gets another comb-out (about an hour and a half this time) I pull about 20 nits off and she’s happy as a clam playing because she didn’t have to go to school.  My mom comes up and the two of us start the painful process of vacuuming, cleaning and laundering the house.  After she checks my head.  But again, she didn’t find anything.   And made a comment about the amount of gray hair I have.*

That night after her shower, I check The Girl’s head again.  Only 5 nits this time – but wait, that’s a bug!  And shit, its still alive.  Now I’m all creeped out again.  After a while I convince myself that it was probably newly hatched from a nit I missed that morning.  Just the same, since I can’t use the shampoo again on myself for another week, I’m coloring my hair.  I’d read that the ammonia/peroxide the coloring process uses will kill them too.  I happened to have a L’Oreal box on hand from when I was coloring it regularly, so I’m good on that front.  And red hair is more festive than grey for the holidays anyway.  Amazingly, the coloring stuff didn’t react with the Rid shampoo residue, and I ended up with cinnamon-colored hair.

This morning, I check The Girl, and Hallelujah  she’s clean.  So she’s off to school with tightly braided hair.  My buddy the nurse checks her out, agrees she’s clean, and all is good.  On one of my many trips to the local drugstore for diabetic refills, I see they have this Lice Freeee stuff.  So I ask my buddy the pharmacist about it.  He highly recommends it, having gone through the same process last week with his kids.  I also head off to the local health food store to get tea tree oil shampoo and some kickass hand creme because between all the washing and chemicals my hands are cracked and bleeding.  So  tonight I soaked both mine and The Girl’s head in the Lice Freeee.  The active ingredient is salt, and remember, my hands are already cracked and bleeding.  After applying it to her, my hands are on FIRE and her poor little head is burning from all the previous lice bites.  Eventually they both calm down and I put on rubber gloves and soak my head with this stuff.  Washed our hair with coconut shampoo, conditioned with tea tree oil conditioner, and did not find one nit or  bug on her, and the comb came out clean on me.  Hopefully we’re done, and with a final Rid Shampoo this weekend we’ll stay that way.

* The funny thing here is, the early grey comes from her side of the family, and she’s been stricken by it too. On my mother, her gray circles her face, kind of like if you’re wearing one of those coats with a fuzzy lined hood.  She;s colored it for so long though, she has no idea if its still that way or is now completely white.

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